Why are relationships important? How can they make a difference in your life? How can they help you understand your purpose in life?
Today marks four years of being happily married to my pretty lady. It has been a huge blessing and a lot of learning experiences. I want to take you back to a day before we got married, when we were in our ‘get to know you’ stage. I will never forget this day because it was pretty eventful, or at least it was in my mind. You can say that we were still learning to better understand each other at this point in our relationship. Any one who knows me knows that I am an energizer bunny. I love to play around, dance and be active. Anyone who knows my wife knows that she is the complete opposite of me. She is a very laid back person and generally quiet at times especially if there is not much going on. There’s nothing wrong with that because that’s just Shania for you. So, one day (let me point out again that we were still learning to better understand each other), we were walking on campus and me being my normal self, I started being playful and saw that Shania was being quiet. My mind drifted to the thought that something was wrong due to her being quiet so I decided to go in to try and tickle her and pick her up to try and cheer her up. Well, she very kindly stepped aside and said “you need to stop playing all the time.” The phrase I remember distinctly was “you need to stop playing.”You should've seen my face because I was lost. STOP playing??! She was not talking english in my book. Is there a Rosetta Stone course that I needed to look up to master this ‘stop playing’? You better believe I was hurt. How can I stop playing when that is just my natural self? I left out three important words, ALL THE TIME. I heard what I wanted to hear. Listening is an important key in my relationship with my wife, as well with any other relationship that I have. We worked that out and she agreed to marry me two years later and we are happily celebrating four years today.
What if I took what my wife said personally and tried to just stop playing altogether? I would have not been happy because I would have been forcing myself to be someone I was not. I remember the lyrics from a Lauryn Hill song,
“We compare ourselves amongst ourselves’ you know. That’s not the standard. You already are the standard. What are you trying to fit into a standard for? We were each created to be individual standards, you know. And we’re trying to fit into a standard? It doesn’t make any sense, you know.”
It didn't make make any sense for me to try and force myself to be someone I wasn't. Do you see yourself trying to be someone that you are not? How can somebody accept you if you don't know who you are?
So what is your purpose? I am not sure but I found out the hard way. It is pretty hard to find your purpose when you are not being true to your inner self. So what’s on your mind? Please share and leave comments and tag someone who you think needs to hear this story. Thanks for reading