Something that is exiting and a struggle as a speaker is learning how to develop my story. When I say develop I mean give it more clarity and details so I can learn to talk about it in more of a compelling way.
Why it can be a struggle at times is because it push you to really self asses who you are and everything you have been through personally. My personal opinion is that I believe we are focused to hide our feelings because it shows us to be soft, sensitive, vulnerable, and weak. So it now has become part of our identity. Hide our feelings, hide our personal hurts, and anything close you better not even think about sharing it with anyone.
Why is this important?
First, it allows us to tell our story in a way where others can relate and be willing to listen where we are coming from. For example I spoke to a camp this summer and told the kids about growing up in a divorce household. After my speech the kids stood up and told me some of their personal takeaways. A 7 year old boy stood up and said “my parents got a divorce when I was 3 years old.”
You never know who is listening and what catches their attention when you open your mouth.
Secondly, it will allow us to have more intellectual conversation, because when we understand where the person hurt is coming from and it is just a part of our identity and no longer define us. Reread that to make sure you understand the full message.
Last but not least, it allows us to mature more into that person we desire to be and attach more like minded people to join us on this journey.
Let me step back and help you understand why this has to relate to speaking. Once again if you don’t know I love the company that bought me into their team, Transcend, because in a healthy way they challenge me to find a way to tell my story. When I am meet with a challenge I find myself breaking layers so I can become a better overall human being.
As I was practicing my story and going over our training program. I was able to gain more clarity on why I made the choices I made. Our training program as a lot of great themes, one of them is to connect your environment with who you are. How we must control our environment and not let our environment control us. As explored this theme with my story, I made more and more connection on why I made the choose I made throughout life.
Example my parents were divorced since I was 7 and I am going on 7 years happily married to my beautiful wife. The level of hurt I personally experienced influence my ways on how i see and value my marriage today.
We all have experience some feeling of hurt in our past and will also in our future. So I do believe we need to start to find a way to cope with the feelings of hurt, so it will not define us.
Until tomorrow, what’s your self talk?